Road Names

Holy shit, road names are complicated in Brazil. Here is a Google map of my neighborhood:


It's the same for public places, like parks and squares. I think it's because every name is commemorating some fallen hero or public servant, and Brazilians frequently have a shit ton of names and a title to boot. For example, the president of Brasil's name is: Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva. Five damn words to say his name.

Imagine trying to tell someone where you live your first week in Brazil: "I live at 601 Rua Engenheiro Humberto Soares Camargo." Remembering it is one thing and then pronouncing it is quite another. Another complicating factor is that the road signs on my street read "R. Eng. Humberto S. Camargo" so you gotta figure out what all those abbreviations are before you can say where you live.

All right, that is all. I have a churrasco to attend.

Shopping Trip

Hi there. A week or two ago I took pictures and video of my walk to the supermarket, a trip I make once or twice a week. I figured it would be cool for you to see what the streets, signs, and stores look like in Brazil.

Leaving the homestead.



All's quiet on Rua Engenheiro Humberto Soares Camargo.

Here's a video of me on my way (I almost get hit by a car):

The main drag.



Like I said in an earlier post, no sidewalks.



Brazilian road and buildings. A multi-lane road separated by a strip of land is pretty common in Brazil.



At the crossroads. Notice the length of the road names (short by Brazilian standards). Everybody and their brother has a road dedicated to them in Brazil.

I'm there! More video goodness:

Now on my way back...

The yellow buildings are called "kitnets." They're like studio apartments for people overly concerned with security -- they've got walls, gates, electric fencing, and bars on the windows. People who live here are probably not much fun to drink with.



This is the same wall from the above picture. The graffiti says, "Walls talk too."



This is a nice little bar/cafe that I pass on the way. There are usually people chilling in that patio area.



Brazilian pharmacy. You can get prescription drugs here without a prescription!



These are public telefones called "orelhões" ("big ears"). Very charming and distinctive. Cellphones are slowly rendering these obselete in Brazil as they mostly already have in the U.S.



Sign for Chinese and Japense restaurants (Japense food is particularly popular in Brazil). Fun fact #1: the largest Japanese immigrant population is in Brazil. Fun fact #2: You know how "Chinese" is sometimes used as a catch-all for anyone from East Asia regardless of country of origin in the U.S.? It's just like that in Brazil, except with Japanese people.



The home stretch.

Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed it. See you soon.

All Things Strange & Brazilian

I haven't posted in a while. I have a few posts that are half finished and a few ideas for posts rolling around in my head. In the meantime, here is a list of strange, strange things I have encountered in Brazil:

• Slamming Car Doors. Brazilians don't slam car doors, they close them gently. Every time I entered or exited a car for the first 2 or 3 weeks I was here, I would get yelled at for how hard I closed the door. I would patiently explain that Americans slam their doors hard, dammnit, and that 17 years (I estimate that I slammed my first car door at age 4) of car slamming practice would take a while to undo. (How else can you make sure it's closed anyway?) Then they would say, "Don't you have a refrigerator in your house?" which is a funny Brazilian expression for, "You have a fridge in your house that you close gently -- why are you slamming my car door?" If riding with my roomates, the vast majority of whom are mechanical engineers, I would then get a lecture about long term stress or some such nonsense, at which point I counter with "In the U.S. we slam the same car door for decades and it never breaks." I have yet to hear a good answer to that.
  
  
• Halls Are Candy. In Brazil, Halls are candy. Yes, Halls, the medicinal cough drop you take when you have a sore throat. Try to wrap your brain around that. EVERYONE in Brazil thinks Halls are candy. They sell them at news stands are restaurants as dessert in a greater variety than I've ever seen in the U.S. It's baffling.
  
  
  
  In Brazil, this is candy.
  
  
  
  
• Electric Shower. The state of São Paulo (where I live) is a pretty hot place most of the year. Most homes do not have a hot water heater or heating of any kind because it's so rarely cold enough to warrant it. Thus, the sink gives you only cold water. To heat water for a shower, an electric heater is positioned above the shower head to heat the water before it is sprayed out the nozzle. "Could an eletric appliance inside the shower be dangerous?" you might ask. Why, yes, it could! It is not unheard of for people to get ever so slighly electrocuted while taking a shower. Crazy country!
  
  
  
  Our shower head looks a lot like this, except the wires dangle down more.
  
  
  
• Oogling women. Brazilians have truly raised bawdy guy talk to an art form. Much time is spent leering at and saying dirty things about attractive Brazilian women. It's a true spectator's sport. Grown men in a work environment will still do this.
  
  
• Age of Consent. This one really blew my mind. Apparently in Brazil the age of consent is never enforced and therefore the socially acceptable age of consent is more open to interpretation and more flexible. Sex between a guy in his mid to late 20's and a 16 year old girl is fine. Apparently if she looks like a women, she is woman enough for sex. Much more disturbingly, first cousin sex is not necessarily wrong, and a cousin two or three times removed is fair game. Thus, if you don't know your first cousin well -- if you're 21 and she's 16 and has boobs and an ass -- you can have sex with her. I spent an entire evening talking about this with some Brazilians who were advocating dating your cousin. I don't care how ethnocentric I'm being, that is very fucked up.
  
  
• No Sidewalks. They have sidewalks in big cities like São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro, but in Barão Geraldo where I live, they don't. You just walk on the edge of the road while the cars wizz by. Weird.
  
  
• No Sex. I just wrote that title to get your attention -- of course Brazilians have sex. But Brazilian girls are generally not as open to casual sex as their American counterparts and hooking up works differently here. A girl can kiss 10 guys at one party, but she probably won't be going home with any of them (or anyone for that matter). Of course, there are sluts in Brazil, but girls are generally less slutty. In summary: making out more casual, sex less casual.
  
  
• Ratty Facial Hair. Brazilian men can step out in public with truly terrible facial hair without fear of attracting any attention. I like this because I can't grow a beard either.
  
  
  In Brazil you can go to work like this without shaving.
  
  
  
  
• Laundry. People don't usually have washers or dryers here because they're too expensive. So, people do wash by hand or with crazy little machines called "tanquinhos":
  
  
  This looks like a washing machine, but it isn't. It just fills with water and agitates. I'm not sure it actually cleans.

All right, that's a pretty lot of text for now. I might write a second installment since there are many things I find strange here in Brazil. Boa noite.