I haven't posted in a while. I have a few posts that are half finished and a few ideas for posts rolling around in my head. In the meantime, here is a list of strange, strange things I have encountered in Brazil:
- Slamming Car Doors. Brazilians don't slam car doors, they close them gently. Every time I entered or exited a car for the first 2 or 3 weeks I was here, I would get yelled at for how hard I closed the door. I would patiently explain that Americans slam their doors hard, dammnit, and that 17 years (I estimate that I slammed my first car door at age 4) of car slamming practice would take a while to undo. (How else can you make sure it's closed anyway?) Then they would say, "Don't you have a refrigerator in your house?" which is a funny Brazilian expression for, "You have a fridge in your house that you close gently -- why are you slamming my car door?" If riding with my roomates, the vast majority of whom are mechanical engineers, I would then get a lecture about long term stress or some such nonsense, at which point I counter with "In the U.S. we slam the same car door for decades and it never breaks." I have yet to hear a good answer to that.
- Halls Are Candy. In Brazil, Halls are candy. Yes, Halls, the medicinal cough drop you take when you have a sore throat. Try to wrap your brain around that. EVERYONE in Brazil thinks Halls are candy. They sell them at news stands are restaurants as dessert in a greater variety than I've ever seen in the U.S. It's baffling.
In Brazil, this is candy.
- Electric Shower. The state of São Paulo (where I live) is a pretty hot place most of the year. Most homes do not have a hot water heater or heating of any kind because it's so rarely cold enough to warrant it. Thus, the sink gives you only cold water. To heat water for a shower, an electric heater is positioned above the shower head to heat the water before it is sprayed out the nozzle. "Could an eletric appliance inside the shower be dangerous?" you might ask. Why, yes, it could! It is not unheard of for people to get ever so slighly electrocuted while taking a shower. Crazy country!
Our shower head looks a lot like this, except the wires dangle down more.
- Oogling women. Brazilians have truly raised bawdy guy talk to an art form. Much time is spent leering at and saying dirty things about attractive Brazilian women. It's a true spectator's sport. Grown men in a work environment will still do this.
- Age of Consent. This one really blew my mind. Apparently in Brazil the age of consent is never enforced and therefore the socially acceptable age of consent is more open to interpretation and more flexible. Sex between a guy in his mid to late 20's and a 16 year old girl is fine. Apparently if she looks like a women, she is woman enough for sex. Much more disturbingly, first cousin sex is not necessarily wrong, and a cousin two or three times removed is fair game. Thus, if you don't know your first cousin well -- if you're 21 and she's 16 and has boobs and an ass -- you can have sex with her. I spent an entire evening talking about this with some Brazilians who were advocating dating your cousin. I don't care how ethnocentric I'm being, that is very fucked up.
- No Sidewalks. They have sidewalks in big cities like São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro, but in Barão Geraldo where I live, they don't. You just walk on the edge of the road while the cars wizz by. Weird.
- No Sex. I just wrote that title to get your attention -- of course Brazilians have sex. But Brazilian girls are generally not as open to casual sex as their American counterparts and hooking up works differently here. A girl can kiss 10 guys at one party, but she probably won't be going home with any of them (or anyone for that matter). Of course, there are sluts in Brazil, but girls are generally less slutty. In summary: making out more casual, sex less casual.
- Ratty Facial Hair. Brazilian men can step out in public with truly terrible facial hair without fear of attracting any attention. I like this because I can't grow a beard either.
In Brazil you can go to work like this without shaving.
- Laundry. People don't usually have washers or dryers here because they're too expensive. So, people do wash by hand or with crazy little machines called "tanquinhos":
This looks like a washing machine, but it isn't. It just fills with water and agitates. I'm not sure it actually cleans.
All right, that's a pretty lot of text for now. I might write a second installment since there are many things I find strange here in Brazil. Boa noite.
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14 comments:
In Brazil, this is candy. ...I lol'd
I enjoyed this post highly
Eu devo dizer que você está tirando algumas conclusões precipitadas, mas ainda é um post engraçado. É interessante observar sua reação a coisas que pra mim parecem perfeitamente normais e lógicas.
Por exemplo, eu não fazia IDÉIA de que halls não era bala nos EUA, até porque é uma das minhas balas preferidas. Mas a verdade é que Halls só e popularizou como bala por sua utilidade refrescante. Ninguém inicialmente GOSTA de Halls, mas se acostuma com o tempo. A 'utilidade' é ganhar um bom hálito. Todo adolescente anda com um Halls preto, preparado pra ocasião de ficar com alguém. Eu, pessoalmente, já gostei mais dessa idéia. Depois de um tempo enjoei do hálito-Halls.
Sobre as calçadas, engraçado você ter dito isso, porque eu mesma não sabia. Quer dizer, é claro que eu imaginava que fosse assim em cidades pequenas e esquecidas pelo resto do país, mas sinceramente será que é diferente em cidades pequenas dos EUA? Eu não conheço Barão Geraldo, mas tenho a impressão de que seja interior.
A barba: eu acho sexy. Ha.
Agora, sobre o sexo, não é bem assim. Como você mesmo disse, não é comum nem incentivado que as meninas transem promiscuamente (acrescento: isso entre a classe média/rica e antes dos 18 anos). Isso significa que por mais comum que seja que uma menina de 16 fique com um cara de 25, não é bem visto que eles cheguem a transar. Amassos e sarros à vontade, sexo não. É óbvio que acontece, mas não é bem visto, inclusive entre as próprias meninas dessa idade.
Mas realmente ficar com caras mais velhos é comum e aceito. E caso os dois estejam juntos já há algum tempo o sexo passa a ser OK, mas não legal nem tão bem visto. E sobre ter peitos e bundas, não é essa a questão. É só que, se a menina parece mulher, então o cara não parece um pedófilo. Isso só julga (de forma ridicula e simplesmente errada, eu sei) o cara, não a relação em si.
E sobre incesto entre primos, é bem isso mesmo. Achei engraçado ver como você considera isso estranho. Meus pais são primos de primeiro grau (mas meu pai é adotivo, meu pai biológico não era parente da minha mãe de nenhuma forma), o que faz do meu pai o meu primo de segundo grau. Isso é considerado engraçado normalmente, e até um pouco esquisito, mas não muito condenado. E ficar com primos não é estranho de nenhuma forma por aqui, CASAR sim. Ainda assim, é aceito.
Enfim, interessante. Eu adoro choques culturais.
HAha this post just made my night, extremely funny... btw the slamming car doors, you gotta understand, cars are really valuable in brazil, not because there isnt enough for everyone, but brazilians are just car lovers, and for that reason cars arent just ways of getting from A to B, so if you're slamming the door like uma porteira, then that hurts our feelings u kno!?! rss, btw i had the same shock when i came to the us, i couldnt believe that people just didnt give a crap about their cars (the majority) and how easy it was to see a brand new car all smashed up, or that some people never washed their cars (cmon, washing your car is a hobby in brazil). But mainly, the lifestyle just makes you be the way we are, i mean, nowdays i dont really mind not washing my car all throughout the winter, also its pretty cold to wash in the snow, but though it does bother me to see the car dirty and not shiny, i am now capable of just live with it.
That is stupid, brasil is not weird, it is just diferent from your consumer world called USA, We dont realy care about what u think , but it is quite disrespectful , im american and i dont like this stupid blog.
Can you explain that little tube coming DOWN from the shower heater. I have seen these everywhere inBrazil but no-one says what they are for. I assume douching intimate parts of the body but is that right?
Very interesting point of view, but I will have to disagree with you at some points. First one, electrical shower is perfectly safe if correctly installed, since electrical current does not contacts the water. Electrical showers are only dangerous when not properly grounded. Second is the Laundry; Damn! Hoe many brazilians did you meet!? This kind of machine is used mostly by the cheapest people! Most brazilians use common washing machines, although drying is often handled mannualy. Third: I am really impressed that Halls is not candy at the USA. The rest of the information is very accurate...
Hahahahaha! I enjoyed your post! I've really not known Halls is not a candy in US. About cars, brazilians are very zealous with their cars, who see it at first could figure out that it's because the expensiveness, but brazilians really love cars, even that too basic, for almost all people, a car is a kind of life's project!
Electric showers are very good if very well installed, unfortunately this is not occour in hotels, but in almost all homes, people know how to connect them properly and thus take a hot bath in the winter.
Hugs!
Gustavo
Engraçado né.
Você vai morar na favela é quer generalizar que o Brasil inteiro é assim, então eu vou pro Texas depois vou voltar ao Brasil e dizer que os USA inteiro são feitos de desertos e faroeste, onde os foras da lei são mortos pelos sheriffs .
POR FAVOR NÉ ?
me poupe .
Well... I'm brazilian, and when I lived in US and Europe I was a lot more scared by the water heater in the attic and the garage than I ever been with an electrical shower in Brazil. That thing is scary!
If an electrical shower isn't properly installed and maintained, you may get a shock but it's very unlikely to be killed or seriously injured. If the pressure valve in your water heater is damaged, that thing will explode!
I'm sure you'll say that almost never happens, but I bet that's what brazilians told you about the electrical shower when you told them you were concerned about it, right?
Think about that...
não entendi quase merda nenhuma,mas parece que chuveiro eletrico é algo estranho (mas então vamo toma banho onde?na pia?), e q bala halls é doce só aqui...bom, devo admitir q qd era criança um dia me disseram q iam me dar um doce, e eu esperava um doce de verdade mas me deram uma bala das pretas!Fiquei decepcionada... mas se esta merda não é doce é o q então?pastilha p garganta,tipo bala valda?pq se for p gripe, eu ja tentei com halls (no desespero), e é ruim e não resolve
Você é louco !
halls cura dor de garganta????kkkkkk...... amigo voce realmente não conhece o brazil sujiro que tente conhecer mais outra no brazil não existe apoio a relacionamento entre parentes . isso é absurdo dizer ser normal aqui . outra uma adolecente não é normal tem relacionamento com homens isso é crime faça isso aqui que voce nunca mais verá os estados unidos . outra coisa que voce deveria saber que o brasil é uma micejenação de culturas somos formados de raças variadas desde as conquista entre varios paises holanda italia frança portugal africa etc. se voces americanos querem morar em um pais irmão e lindo venha para o brazil mas aviso apesar de suas belezas do respeito que o brazileiro tem pela familia o carinho o amor infelizmente ainda existe desigualdades e violencia e muitos perigos mas é o melhor pais do mundo eu acho ... sejam bem vindos.. outra tenho uma queda por garotas americanas são gostosas .....................may name Demetrios. ................................ welcome
I laughed a lot about that! I'm Brazilian AND a pharmacyst, and I had no clue that Halls is a medicine in the USA, though I never buy it cause I think it tastes too "strong". And don't worry bout the shower, it works perfectly fine! Actually, I've heard about people who used central gas heaters and the valve wasn't working properly, and the whole thing just exploded! Yet, you don't have to worry that "there's not enought hot water for a bath", since the electric shower produces as much hot water as you want, right away! About consensual sex, it's actually a crime to lay down with anyone below 18, but if the family doesn't press charges, than there's no crime at all, and I assume it happens all over the world, since teenager pregnancy happens everywhere. And the "tanquinhos" are used mostly by the poorer, the midle class people use whashing machines, altough drying machines are much more rare indeed. But since we have a hot wheather, using a drying machine would only be expending unnecessary energy.
xxx
Marina
"but girls are generally less slutty." HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH XD JEZZ...
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