Portuguese Linguistics Lessoninho

Here's a short list of stuff that I've found interesting/challenging/weird about Brazilian Portuguese:

1. Made Up Words
   
   I found this really confusing at first about Portuguese. In truth, you don't really make up words a lot in Portuguese, but you do modify their endings. Certain suffixes (-inho, -inha, and -ão) get tacked on the ends of nouns to slightly alter their meaning. The first two suffixes (-inho and -inha) make whatever noun they're modifying smaller or cuter, while the -ão makes the noun it's modifying bigger. For instance, I live with a guy named Pedro, but everyone calls him "Pedrão" (big Pedro) because he's tall. Here's some more examples:
   
   
   • Bonitinho = Bonito ("beautiful") + -inho = Cute
   • Cafezinho = Café ("coffee") + -inho = Small cup of coffee
   • Gordão = Gordo ("fat") + -ão = Really big fat person
   • Doidão = Doido ("crazy") + -ão = Totally nuts
   • Rapidinho = Rapido ("fast") + -inho = Fast (informal)
   • Rapidão = Rapido ("fast") + -ão = Fast (informal)
   
   These suffixes can be used to permute any word and makes for a really fun, interesting part of the language. Sometimes it's actually about the size of the thing ("gordão"), sometimes it's about degree ("doidão"), and sometimes it just makes the word cuter or more informal (ex. "rapidinho" and "rapidão," both having more or less the same meaning). At the same time, this confused the hell out of me in the beginning since most words exist in several different versions and you have to be comfortable moving between all of them fluidly to be able to converse. To me, it seemed like there were endless words to learn, but once I got used to the construction things got much easier.
   
   
   
2. Don't Reply With "Yes" or "No"
   
   This feature of the language was also really tough to get used to. In colloquial Portuguese, when someone asks you a yes or no question, you generally don't respond with yes or no. Examples:
   
   
   • Q). Pode abrir a janela? ("Can you open the window?")
   • A). Posso. (lit. "I can.") = Yes, I can (and will).
     
     
   • Q). Você vai para a festa hoje à noite? ("Are you going to the party tonight?")
   • A). Vou. (lit. "I go.") = Yeah, I'm going.
     
     
   • Q). Você quer bolo? ("Do you want cake?")
   • A). Não quero. (lit. "I don't want.") = No, I don't want any.
     
     
   • Q). Então, na verdade não tem como fazer assim? ("So, it's not actually possible to do it that way?")
   • A). Isso. (lit. "That.") = Yes, that's right.
     
   
   Responding with "sim" or "não" (the equivalents of "yes" and "no") is considered too formal and is weird for everyday language. My first month or so in Brazil, I was still very much in "yes" or "no" mode, and training myself to respond to "Can you?" with "I can" and not "yes" definitely required an adjustment.
   
   
   
3. No, no, and no!
   
   In Portuguese, when you want to be emphatic about being against something you can keep adding no's:
   
   
   • Não quero. = I don't want that.
     
   • Não quero não. = I really don't want that.
     
   • Não, não quero não! = I really really don't want that!
     
     
     
4. Contractions
   
   Portuguese is similar to Spanish in how succinct of a language it is as you may have noticed. This is due largely to optional subject pronouns as well as unnecessary object pronouns (i.e. "I don't want it" = "Don't want" in Portuguese). However, Portuguese takes it to the next level with its contractions. Portuguese is nuts about contractions. While in English we like to do this with subjects and verbs (ex. I would => I'd, You will => You'll) Portuguese speakers do it with prepositions and, instead of sticking an apostrophe between the two contracted words, create a new world altogether. Examples:
   
   
   • in the (m.) = em + o = no
   • in the (f.) = em + a = na
   • in the (m. pl.) = em + os = nos
   • in the (f. pl.) = em + as = nas
     
     
   • to the (m.) = a + o = ao
   • to the (f.) = a + a = à
   • to the (m. pl.) = a + os = aos
   • to the (f. pl.) = a + as = às
     
     
   • of the (m.) = de + o = do
   • of the (f.) = de + a = da
   • of the (m. pl.) = de + os = dos
   • of the (f. pl.) = de + as = das
     
     
   • by the (m.) = por + o = pelo
   • by the (f.) = por + a = pela
   • by the (m. pl.) = por + os = pelos
   • by the (f. pl.) = por + as = pelas
     
     
   • his/its = of him/it = de ele = dele
   • hers/its = of her/it = de ela = dela
     
     
   • from here = de aqui = daqui
   • from there = de aí = dai
   • from there = de ali = dali
   
   This is a very short list. If you count each gender and plurality, there are 78 prepositional contractions by my count. If you're interested, here's the full list (in Portuguese):

I hope I didn't get too linguistic on your asses. Take 'er easy.

Sample Portuguese Conversation

Here's a sample conversation with a Brazil speaking normal-speed Portuguese at me:


*************

Brazilian: Hey, what's up? Do you ---- -- --- now? ------ --- ---- last night at 8:00. It was really awesome. Where was ----?

Me: ...

Brazilian: Did you understand?

Me: Not everything. Could you please speak slower?

Brazilian: Sure, no problem. It's ------ ----. --- -- ---! Right?

Me: Fuck.

*************


It can be really frustrating to not understand Portuguese. I'm definitely getting better, but with only 3 months of practice on my own before arriving, it's not very easy to start speaking well. Sometimes I feel like my Portuguese is really good (like when people I meet tell me it is), and sometimes it seems awful. If someone's asking me questions I've heard a million times before (where I'm from, what I'm doing in Brazil, how old I am) it's pretty easy to pass for conversational. But when I'm listening to a group of Brazilians talk amongst themselves I don't understand shit.

The worst part about not speaking well is not being able to understand jokes. If you're with a group of people and you're not really following the conversation, what do you do when everyone else starts guffawing? Your options are pretty much either a) pretend to laugh even though you don't get the joke (though this can be very dangerous if called on it), or b) not laughing, in which case you look like an ignorant baffoon. I generally opt for the broad, good natured smile, which is pretty easy to pull off when everyone else is belly laughing. That way I might have gotten the joke, but if I didn't at least I'm a happy guy, right?

There really is no good answer. Ain't easy bein' gringo.